I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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