Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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