it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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