I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
