Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
