I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm both gender and math confused
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize