he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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