i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize