I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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