dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
