Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
