three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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