the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
