She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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