I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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