the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he's gonorrhea incarnate
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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