"it" just moved
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
