She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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