No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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