it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I forgot how hot balto sounded
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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