WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
