I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
