just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
