i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You need Xanax blowdarts
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize