Farmville is her only friend.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
