Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize