Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize