well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
