when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
