If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sober January is a disaster.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
