Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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