Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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