We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
