just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I FOUND THE LEGS
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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