She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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