No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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