The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize