Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
