apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i barfeds in our rink
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
