i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
