At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
