Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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