My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
