I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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