ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize