Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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