I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
