I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
