matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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