woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
