your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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