if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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