I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
