So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
