i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
