lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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