12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
