By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize