after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
